I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
