i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize