i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
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He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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