My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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