Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
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