Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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