hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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