We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
