Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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