last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
