I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
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as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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