Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You can't just leave with hair like that
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
