i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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