We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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