i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize