also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
