I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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