Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
