I am puke
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
