whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
why is half of my head shaved?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
