This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think people are normalizing furries
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
