I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
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He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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