hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
