I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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