I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
