Sry I called you an 8
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
