Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
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How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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