we have officially lost it.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
