The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
