I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
