Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
