Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
