Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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