So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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