I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
