I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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