Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
