U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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