your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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