OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Randomize
