it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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