I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
