Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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