you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass