Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.