Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
