Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
