Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
