Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
