Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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