why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
