Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
