Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
