Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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