I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Alive.
So much puke
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
