We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
