i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
