I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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